It costs nothing to be loyal, honest, and true!

(borrowed from The Avett Brothers)

My son, Brian, is a Junior in college.  I guess like most college students, he calls home from time to time (not enough for his mom) and either asks for money or advice.  Last week he called me and offered his new revelation in his journey through academia.  He said “dad, it all about who you know in this world, not so much about what you know.”  My first thought was, OK he is finally learning some real world lessons that will serve him well.  We then spent a little time discussing how this epiphany came to him and I gently offered a little twist on his statement.  “Maybe it’s not who you know, or who knows you, maybe it’s about how much you really care about others?” I offered.  He asked me what the difference was. 

If I have learned anything in my thirty years of business, it is that what is really important are the relationships we build with people.  The most successful people I know have learned to build strong relationships with an ever widening circle.  To be successful at building strong relationships I feel these three things are very important:

• Be true to your word – don’t promise something if you cannot deliver.
• Find ways to stay connected with those you meet.  Call, write, e-mail; keep in touch.
• Have open honest communication.  When you have a genuine interest in someone’s success you will find yourself responding with thoughtful suggestions and encouragement.
• People will not care until they know you care about them.

It really is quite simple; in business as in life, people will respond (and buy from) people they like and respect.  People that have our true interest and well being at heart are rewarded with our attention and commerce.  In our Sales Magnetism classes we teach that selling is all about relationships. It is simply the exchange of things of equal value between two (or more) people. Understanding people and seeking to better relationships with them will yield more income in the long run than anything else you can do. You don’t need those manipulative tricks and techniques that as sometimes taught by sales gurus.  As one of my favorite bands (The Avett Brothers) say “it costs nothing to be loyal, honest, and true” and we are rewarded in so many countless ways.

Sometimes, just because life takes strange twists and turns, we find ourselves in disagreement with those around we encounter in our personal life or in business. How can we keep these moments from damaging out relationships?  I recently saw the following advice offered:

 “When you are involved in a dispute with someone else, it may be the only time doing nothing is better than doing something. There's a practical reason for this: When you quarrel with others-even if you win the argument-you can damage the relationship.  Instead of arguing with others, try asking non threatening questions such as: "Why do you feel this way? What have I done to make you angry?  What can I do to help?" You may find that the entire situation has resulted from a simple misunderstanding that can be quickly rectified.  Even if problems are more serious, your positive behavior will go a long way toward helping resolve them.”

Are you going to like a get along with everyone you meet?  Probably not, but you can become better relationship builders and increase your circle of influence by thinking of others first.  As Albert Pike said “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” I don’t know about you, but as I grow older each year, immortality begins to have a certain attraction.

I hope my thoughts made my son rethink his position on the world and his relationships he is building in his journey through college.  It really isn’t about whom you know or even who knows you, but more about the types of relationships we build along the way that will have the most impact on our lives.